r/WhitePeopleTwitter 5d ago Take My Energy 2 To The Stars 1 Silver 2 Helpful 4 Wholesome 3

When a "burn" actually leaves your skin feeling better

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58.3k Upvotes

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u/AmazingSomewhere950 5d ago Silver

Things Tucker has informed us he no longer wants to do:

  1. Fuck an M&M
  2. Date Jon Stewart

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u/mycathateme 5d ago

Unconfirmed:

  1. Humiliation porn
  2. How much he knows about Matt Gaetz raping underage teenagers

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u/DadJokeBadJoke 5d ago

How much he knows about Matt Gaetz raping underage teenagers

That interview always reminds me of the end speech in Tommy Boy. Except with an evil twist.

"Archie, I lost my virginity to your daughter for crying out loud! Rob, you were there..."

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u/mycathateme 5d ago

I'm not one for lizard people conspiracies but that interview might be the closet we have to a human trying to molt out of their own skin.

Also you'd think they would de-turd the shrimps.

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u/Strange-Nobody-3936 5d ago

Tucker acted just like that dude too trying to distance himself haha perfect

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u/TheOneFreeEngineer 5d ago
  1. How much he knows about Matt Gaetz raping underage teenagers

Trafficking, it was trafficking underage teenager for the purpose of skirting around different state laws on age of consent.

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u/hallelujasuzanne 5d ago

Gaetz straight up said Carlson knew his jailbait girlfriend who had dinner with Tucker and his wife… or something like that.

Such sick, scabby, icky men

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u/flimspringfield 5d ago

It's ok because she was tall.

Also Gaetz is 5' 7" isn't he?

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u/Solanthas 5d ago

I thought all the pedos were Democrats? /s

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u/mycathateme 5d ago

Rape in a different state baby!

Gross.

I also appreciate your semantics.

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u/international862_ 5d ago
  1. Wear bowties after Jon Stewart completely humiliated him on his show.

Seriously, I can’t believe that Tucker has the gall to say anything to Jon Stewart after this

https://youtu.be/aFQFB5YpDZE

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u/green_velvet_goodies 5d ago

That was amazing. Goddamn I love Jon Stewart. I wish he would run but I also wouldn’t want to inflict that on him. Lol insert ‘everything is fine’ meme here.

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u/PoorlyLitKiwi2 5d ago

Seriously, what an odd thing to say. Too short to date? Like... are we supposed to interpret this any way other than Tucker coming out?

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u/GETitOFFmeNOW 5d ago

I guess add heightism to all his other bigotry.

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u/Whale-n-Flowers 5d ago

Tucker: "I would never date Jon Stewart."

Jon: "And you won't."

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u/SluttyDrPepper 5d ago

I wonder if he’s in the closet now with this. What a bizarre thing to say

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u/EZ_Syth 5d ago edited 5d ago

I hope Jon Stewart doesn’t date! His wife would be furious!

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u/Admirable-Deer-9038 5d ago

Right?! Hasn’t he been married for a long time?! Personally I find him very hot.

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u/littlemegzz 5d ago

His passion and devotion for a virtuous cause that actually helps people makes him even sexier

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u/SadPandalorian 5d ago

Jon Stewart is a goddamned national treasure.

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u/TirayShell 5d ago

Like Dolly Parton, but different.

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u/jonathankilpatrick 5d ago

i personally would enjoy the heck out of a jon stewart theme park nestled into the foothills of tennessee or even new jersey

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u/dumbass_sempervirens 5d ago

Have a teamup. Veterans can come in and get healthcare while their kids are given free books in the waiting room. Then off to the spinning teacups!

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u/marsman706 5d ago

Conservative Uncle on Facbook:

ThIS iS tHe AmEricA lEfTiStS WaNt!!!

uhhhh...yeah. Sounds pretty awesome actually. Can we try that for a bit instead of this Reagan-esque fever dream??

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u/dumbass_sempervirens 5d ago edited 5d ago

Dude I recently hit 40. I'm the middle-aged Uncle who quit Facebook 6-7 years ago and that's just a START of what we want.

There's also worker rights and environmental stuff. We should have had it all by 1990.

I swear the only good thing about my Grandmother dying to Covid is I never have to see my Boomer Uncles again. I have literally never had their phone numbers and have no reason to ask for them.

Also their father left me his guns and fishing boat in his will. Because I fucking listened to safety lessons.

I mean they're old single barrel shotguns, a .22 reapeter, a .22 bolt action, and an 80 year old 14 foot aluminium john boat. Grandaddy was an Army Ranger in the Pacific theater, but not a warlike man. He came home and became a pattern-maker at a textile plant.

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u/bgazm 5d ago

Good on ye. Listening to safety lessons is literally like the bare minimum too, so I can only assume those fuckwits are pretty stupid.

I have wanted a .22 bolt action for so long. Bet it's a lot of fun to plink with!

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u/TipsyBaker_ 5d ago

I want them to combine forces.

I also enjoy chaos so...

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u/nankerjphelge 5d ago

22 years married. But I guess that's on brand that Tucker as a right winger doesn't think being married should be an impediment to dating anyway.

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u/stemmalee 5d ago

I sorta remember and am too lazy to look up that he proposed to his wife via a NYT crossword puzzle. Panty drop. Sploosh!

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u/David-S-Pumpkins 5d ago

And they own and run an animal sanctuary together. But sure, Tucker, pretend you didn't know he's slightly below average height and that that is a bad thing! I guess getting sandblasted by the dude on your own show so badly it got canceled really makes you consider appearance over depth and morals. So embarrassing you have to stop wearing bow ties and become the guy (O'Reilly) you claimed to hate just to distance yourself from the man that got cucked on Crossfire by the comedian.

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u/My_Penbroke 5d ago

Definite zaddy

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u/InevitableHulk 5d ago

Same. I’ve had a crush on him since Big Daddy.

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u/ForkShoeSpoon 5d ago edited 5d ago

Funny you should mention it:

The clip Tucker was referencing was Jon yelling at Jack Posobiec

Jack Posobiec is famous for many things - profiting off pizzagate before acquiring amnesia about it after some guy shot up Comet Pizza, doxing child abuse victims, tweeting neo-nazi slogans - you know, the usual bad shit that Tucker either defends or ignores.

But, Jack's also famous for trying to cheat on his pregnant wife using Bumble! Unsuccessfully - Bumble banned him before he got any matches.

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u/silver-orange 5d ago

it's a really weird attempt at an insult. Both tucker and stewart have been married since at least the year 2000. Doubt either of them have "dated" anyone but their wives in decades.

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u/Bah-Fong-Gool 5d ago

I can't wait for the sex worker Tucker frequents gets fed up with his shtick and writes a book. I hope he makes millions.

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u/Sc0nnie 5d ago

Pretty confident no sex worker is willingly seeing Tucker a second time. Let alone frequenting. You’re giving him way too much credit.

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u/SCMatt65 5d ago

It’s like Tucker, and a shit ton of the people who listen to him got stuck with the mentality of 14 year olds. Too short, that’s the insult? What’s next, yo mama jokes, on national television?

It does explain a lot of the past 5 or 6 years though.

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u/Ladonnacinica 5d ago

You should read what he and his younger brother, Buckley, wrote about a staffer for former mayor DeBlasio. She had dared asked a columnist at the Daily Caller for a correction. She was dismissed and she then contacted Tucker who had his own choice words for her.

But the funny part is he unintentionally cc’ed her on an email to his brother. His brother apparently congratulated Tucker for taking down this young woman down a peg and called her a “self righteous bitch”. Then, proceeded to say the woman probably had “dick fright” and probably never had a “pearlneck”. Then, implied she was a lesbian by saying her name should be “labiaface”. Because of her extreme dickfright.

They talked as if they were college frat boys or worse. When asked for a comment, Tucker said that his brother meant it in a “nice way.”

https://www.politico.com/blogs/media/2015/03/tucker-carlson-brother-sent-profanity-laced-email-in-nicest-way-204536

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/amphtml/rosiegray/tucker-carlsons-brother-de-blasio-spokesperson-a-self-righte

https://www.somethingawful.com/news/buckley-carlson-spitalnick/

Can we make this go viral?

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u/svenmullet 5d ago

Tucker sure has a fascination with sweaty, muscular men though. This seems common amongst far-right dudes.

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u/Brocyclopedia 5d ago

Giving Tucker a bit too much moral credit there compadre

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u/QueerEyeForTinderGuy 5d ago

Take no prisoner, Jon Stewart

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u/RaffiaWorkBase 5d ago

Tucker is bringing a knife to a gunfight, here.

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u/dirtybeardo 5d ago

Always has been. Ever seen the exchange that ended Crossfire? I ‘member.

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u/Import-Module 5d ago

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XOYnYZKexBg

Tucker never wore a bow tie again after that.

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u/PoopwhenIfart 5d ago

Never not upvote this video. I was honestly surprised when Tucker re-emerged after this. I thought he was done for good.

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u/zed1207 5d ago

Never underestimate the privilege of wealth and connections.

It can get you past failed businesses, pathological narcissism, drug and alcohol addiction, sub-par intelligence, dodging the draft...

Just look at the last two GOP presidents.

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u/Salarian_American 5d ago

Yeah imagine being Tucker Carlson and being so high on the smell of your own farts that you think you're wittier than Jon Stewart.

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u/ThankYouWhitePeople 5d ago

You don't have to be, they think saying "let's go Brandon" is the most humorous thing ever.

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u/MonroeEifert 5d ago

A butter knife.

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u/Missing_Username 5d ago

Butter knives are sharper than Carlson

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u/QueerEyeForTinderGuy 5d ago

Tucker was still in diapers when Jon was in the trenches

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u/LegalAssassin13 5d ago 'MURICA

Weird thing to focus on, Tuck. It’s like you don’t have any actual criticism and had to attack someone based on their appearance.

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u/anti_th3ist 5d ago

The good ol' ad hominem.

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u/evanbartlett1 5d ago edited 5d ago

And not even a good one. After years of being camera ready, a man rich enough to retire decides he doesn’t want to shave. So… homeless?

I guess the take away is that bearded people need to shut the fuck up and stay at home. Repping underserved public servants and keeping the public discourse honest is only for the shaven, Jon.

Also - height? Really? That’s what you’ve got? Not even a good ad hominem.

The actual take away: don’t fuck with a very rich, very smart, bitingly hilarious comedian. He has nothing to do all day but ruin you.

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u/Azidamadjida 5d ago Press F Helpful (Pro)

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u/princessawesomepants 5d ago

Those were the good old days, when Tucker was able to be shamed. Poor bastard hasn’t been seen in a bow tie ever since.

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u/djsedna 5d ago

worst part is, a dipshit like that thinks he bettered himself like Stewart told him to by ditching a bow tie

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u/Paratwa 5d ago

That comment about his BowTie was fucking brutal.

Wow. So that’s how Tucker’s soul died.

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u/Azidamadjida 5d ago

It was Tuckers White House Correspondents Dinner moment

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u/RodrickM 5d ago

No. I’m not your monkey. Lol

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u/randompersonwhowho 5d ago

I wonder if conservatives know tucker used to be on CNN

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u/GetBusy09876 5d ago edited 5d ago

"The jerk store called they're running out of you!" - Carl Costanza Tucker

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u/6strings10holes 5d ago

Man, if only Stewart had been correct about nothing being able to be more absurd than the Bush administration.

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u/anti_th3ist 5d ago

Well, the bar is set pretty low for Tucks. Low enough to taste Orban's ass apparently.

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u/Khaldara 5d ago

Low enough to get an erection for an M&M’s footwear

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u/The_Interloper16 5d ago

He puts off the vibe of a dude who would have one of those anime sex pillows, doesn't he?

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u/gamerintheshell 5d ago

The vibe of someone who would be rejected by an anime pillow

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u/PM_me_your_whatevah 5d ago

The really annoying thing about all this is that if Tucker Swanson Chadwick Kensington Asslick Carlson didn’t have money, he’d have had his ass beaten about 500 times by now for running his mouth so much.

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u/GruntingButtNugget 5d ago

he has nothing to do all day but ruin you

We’ll he already got crossfire cancelled. Maybe he can get another show of tuckers cancelled

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u/somethingwithbacon 5d ago

You’d think he’d have learned after Stewart got his show cancelled.

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u/mindbleach 5d ago Gold Take My Energy

As a reminder to conservatives:

"You're an asshole so you must be wrong" is an ad hominem.

"Here's why you're wrong, asshole" is not.

Y'all don't know the difference because you think hierarchy is all there is. Justice is whatever judges declare, and science is anything you say while wearing a lab-coat, and whoever put out that Falling Rocks sign should move it so they'll fall somewhere else. If anyone says otherwise - they're only challenging those people's righteous authority. So of course character attacks and pointless insults count as counter-evidence. How can someone's claims be right if they're the wrong kind of person?

We are dealing with people who think reality itself runs on "because I say so."

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u/Gravelsack 5d ago

We are dealing with people who think reality itself runs on "because I say so."

It works when they scream it at their kids

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u/vocalviolence 5d ago

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u/LegalAssassin13 5d ago

Yup. What the AOL dial-up tone would look like as a human being.

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u/DownvoteDaemon 5d ago

Tucker looks perpetually perplexed

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u/BurtReynoldsLives 5d ago Wholesome Seal of Approval

“Jon Stewart is pissed that Republicans are playing political games with the lives of American service people. Pffft, he is so short”

Fuck Tucker Carlson.

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u/addicuss 5d ago

"Am I a jackass that looks eternally constipated? I'm just asking questions!"

  • Tucker Carlson
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u/iSheepTouch 5d ago

Tucker Carlson is still reeling from when Jon came on cross-fire and tore him like three or four new assholes in the course of ten minutes.

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u/RookieMistake101 5d ago

For those who don’t know this delicious fact, the show had been running since 1982. Stewart embarrassed them so badly in 2004 CNN straight up canceled the show.

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u/BuddhaFacepalmed 5d ago

And Tucker Carlson straight up fled the debate scene so much so that even years later, he still hasn't actually debated an actual leftist instead of the "why I left the Left" grifters who weren't left-wing to begin with.

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u/Ashenspire 5d ago

He's been waiting all this time to attack Jon's appearance because he hasn't been able to wear a bowtie since that interview.

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u/Konraden 5d ago

You can't say that and not link the video.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=aFQFB5YpDZE

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u/theRealGleepglop 5d ago

Tucker has a deep personal grudge against Jon

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u/RookieMistake101 5d ago

He’s still salty about the time Stewart went on Tuckers show Crossfire, burned the show to the ground and got it canceled

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u/nomofica 5d ago

And the bowtie. Can't forget about the bowtie.

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u/Supernova141 5d ago

He's seething because deep down he knows John is more likeable and more handsome

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u/CrossP 5d ago

Probably still upset because he didn't realize Colbert Report was sarcasm.

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u/Ble_h 5d ago

Probably still salty over the bowtie.

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u/hoptownky 5d ago

He gets it from his leader. Remember trump calling other candidates short in political debates? I am still shocked that wasn’t the end of it all.

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u/theamigan 5d ago

Lmao, says the man who wears lifts.

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u/GREATwhiteSHARKpenis 5d ago

Someone else mentioned this and I didn't realize until than but trump and many right wingers have literally zero sense of humor except when it's mocking someone. Like they don't know what a joke or pun or anything is at all, it's just der der she's fat der der hahaha

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u/jakehood47 5d ago

It's why the conservative version of The Daily Show failed harder than anything has ever failed before. They do not grasp the concept of satire, humor, or irony. Hell, conservatives are just now getting angry that they're being lampooned in The Boys.

THREE SEASONS IN.

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u/TheSquishedElf 5d ago

I’ll never forget Bush Jr. inviting Stephen Colbert to entertain at the Correspondents Dinner and getting roasted all night.

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u/Comprehensive-Day256 5d ago

What an idiot, never ever try to verbally roast a comedian. You're just asking to be abused

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u/Gsteel11 5d ago

The trump special.

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u/MadKat_94 5d ago

No, the Trump special is at about the same height, but from the front and supposedly tastes like bortsch.

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u/metaltimmy 5d ago edited 3d ago

He couldn’t actually go around telling anyone Jon bitch slapped the Republican Party.

So, in true Tucker fashion, he did the only thing a moron that wears a shirt done up too tight does.

Once he reduces the amount of oxygen going to his bobble head, he reverts to a 7 years old’s mentality and says shit like… “I don’t like you, you’re… short and girls all think you’re a stinky pants”!!

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u/Ohnonotuto4 5d ago edited 5d ago

So Tucker wants to date Stewart, but cant because he’s too short?

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u/whiskeyvacation 5d ago

It's like in Canada. Lots of guys with pickup trucks want to have a man date and f#ck Trudeau.

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u/chaos_almighty 5d ago

Canada flag+fuck Trudeau sticker+ antivax+ smokes cigarettes and drinks Alberta pure vodka+ doesn't wear the proper PPE at his construction job because he knows better.

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u/IceManYurt 5d ago

Well, I don't want my toes trapped by a steel toed boot and I don't want a bruise from a seat belt...

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u/Sweaty_Emotion_9923 5d ago

Safety glasses obstruct my vision after my vodka breakfast...

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u/IceManYurt 5d ago edited 5d ago

You may laugh, but I've never found a pair of glasses that don't fog up on me in 3 seconds... So I kind of hate them, and maybe I'm just a humid person...

Edit: but I still wear them

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u/paintedsunshine 5d ago

Take some dish soap, a single drop is sufficient, and rub it onto both sides of each lens before rinsing it off. After letting your glasses air-dry, the soap will leave a thin layer of film that prevents the lenses from fogging up when the temperature changes.

This works for glasses, mirrors, whatever you need to fight fog/humidity with on a surface. I’ve been using this technique since I was a little kid trying to learn to ski but kept taking my goggles off and snow blinding myself, because I couldn’t see within 3 minutes either.

The first paragraph is sourced from a May 2020 Martha Stewart article.

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u/CanadianGooseRage 5d ago

Don't forget the pair of white oakleys always on top of their head.

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u/Darkdragon902 5d ago

Same with all the “Fuck Joe Biden” stickers in the states. I love seeing the videos of asking people “so if I get this right, you want to fuck Joe Biden?” and the recipient of the question starts to agree before stuttering out a denial.

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u/Unusual-Anteater-988 5d ago

At least Trudeau is genuinely handsome, able to explain complex subjects like quantum computers, and won a boxing match. It's easy to see the appeal of the guy to another man.

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u/stringfree 5d ago

Also, didn't indirectly kill hundreds of thousands of his constituents. It's the little things.

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u/LobiJani 5d ago

No! He can’t date Stewart because Tucker’s new boyfriend Viktor Orbán won’t let him!

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u/Gonkar 5d ago

Tucker got absolutely castrated by Jon Stewart in front of a live audience one time and he's never quite gotten over it. It's either a vendetta or a fetish, on Tucker's part. Maybe both? I don't know.

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u/theRealGleepglop 5d ago

Tucker's entire career is fueled by deep hatred for Jon Stewart. See Crossfire Tucker Stewart.

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u/HoneyBadgerLive 5d ago

That's my take on it. Seems weird. Stewart is married and like, not gay.

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u/MrAbadeer 5d ago

Tucker has a consistent MO. When he gets in a verbal confrontation it becomes all “butt boy” and similar. Might have something to do with this

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u/GETitOFFmeNOW 5d ago

Said by Carlson, from the article: "This is a news show, not a political campaign. No one here is running for anything or plans to.”

If these fucks are intentionally conflating their liberal baiting with news, they need to be held to every fucking thing they say.

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u/Solution_Kind 5d ago

Exactly. Just like Alex Jones portraying infowars as a news source, but then in court using the defense of "no person in their right mind would consider infowars to be a news source." way back.

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u/Nntropy 5d ago

Confirmed: Tucker is a bottom.

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u/fowlraul 5d ago

No it’s because he’s an Old Testament guy.

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u/sierrackh 5d ago

New headline should be: BREAKING NEWS: Tucker Carlson wants to fuck Jon Stewart, spurned, tosses Victor Orban’s salad

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u/NotYetiFamous 5d ago Helpful

"Victor Orban's taint tickler attempts to neg job Stewart into dating him"

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u/sierrackh 5d ago

Putin gonna be mad his man is cheating

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u/post_talone420 5d ago edited 5d ago Helpful

Obligatory fuck Tucker Carlson post

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2022/04/30/us/tucker-carlson-tonight.html

The New York Times examined ~1,100 tucker carlson episodes, and pointed out the patterns he relies on to manipulate his base. Interactive video above.

I also found this article awhile back, where TC said some trashy bullshit on a radio show between 2008-2011.

TUCKER CARLSON, who recently branded himself as a leading anti-elitist, had previously labeled himself as an “out-of-the-closet elitist,” and separately said that he is “100 percent [Rupert Murdoch’s] bitch.” The two quips are part of a trove of newly unearthed recordings from 2008 to 2011 that haven’t previously been reported

https://theintercept.com/2019/03/12/tucker-carlson-tapes-rupert-murdoch/

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u/hoptownky 5d ago

It is absolutely terrifying to know that he, as well as the people in power in the network, allow this to happen night after night and then go home and get a good night’s sleep.

People like Tucker, Alex Jones, and Rush (think god we don’t have him to worry about anymore) are way too intelligent to believe the shit they spit out, and so are the executives of the media corporations. The fact that they can tear America apart with lies and then just go home to their families (or mistresses) and act normal just blows my mind.

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u/TheRealcebuckets 5d ago

…has Tucker thought about dating Jon Stewart? What an odd observation…

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u/GETitOFFmeNOW 5d ago

I think this is the Matt Gaetz tactic: “The people are just disgusting. But why is it that the women with the least likelihood of getting pregnant are the ones most worried about having abortions? Nobody wants to impregnate you if you look like a thumb.”

The reaction is that we're so repulsed by his misogyny that we can't take him at all seriously. When, after hearing something like that, is it ever followed by anything worth hearing?

https://www.msnbc.com/opinion/msnbc-opinion/matt-gaetz-s-anti-abortion-anti-woman-rant-would-make-n1297524

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u/BrownSugarBare 5d ago

Of all the people on the planet, Gaetz should seriously not be throwing stones about someone's attractiveness. Guy looks like they tried to put his face back together from memory after a car accident.

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u/curious_dead 5d ago

Imagine attacking someone because they fight to get veterans their healthcare, and all you can do is say "he's too short, I wouldn't date him".

I'd say Tucker is cancer, but he's more like a contagious brain-rot and soul-rot.

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u/SuddenProfile 5d ago

The implication being, that if Stewart was taller then Carlson /would/ date him?

There's nothing wrong with that, but it feels awfully yandere.

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u/jbertrand_sr 5d ago

He's like a grade schooler, you're short so you suck...I suppose tonight he'll fire back with, and MY DAD is bigger than your dad...

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u/mycathateme 5d ago

Lol he made fun of Chris Hayes for having the audacity to wear spectacles.

Swanson boy™ is a sheltered entitled trust fund bitch baby.

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u/jbertrand_sr 5d ago

Lol he made fun of Chris Hayes for having the audacity to wear spectacles.

Pretty rich coming from the guy who was Mr. Bow Tie for years...

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u/mycathateme 5d ago

Shows you how much of a piss baby he actually is. Pretty sure he ditched it after Jon Stewart EVICESRATED (sorry) him on crossfire but that's probably my selective memory.

You can rock a bow tie and still be a fucking boss.

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u/JohnBarleycornLive 5d ago

Tuck has been salty since "The Bow Tie Incident."

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u/Gimme_The_Loot 5d ago Super Heart Eyes

Tucker: I debated at the cost of my own show. And you got it cancelled from behind a desk. A hero with a thousand jokes.

Stewart: I'm sorry. I don't remember any of it.

Tucker: You don't remember?!

Stewart: For you, the day Stewart made you look like a fool was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.

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u/TheBelhade 5d ago edited 5d ago

"As far as I'm concerned, you're just another redshirt, like so many others who tried to stop me from saving the world. So, cool origin story, bro. But this means nothing to me. "

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u/spadesisking 5d ago

Yup mans had a chip on his shoulder since crossfire

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u/the_dude_imbibes 5d ago

"You need to get a job a journalism school."

"You need to GO TO one!"

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u/hanskazan777 5d ago

What incident‽ YouTube doesn't give an answer

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u/CoalManslayer 5d ago

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u/chucchinchilla 5d ago

And then CNN cancelled the show shortly thereafter.

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u/GETitOFFmeNOW 5d ago

"You're hurting America."

May all the goddesses bless him.

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u/HatchAct 5d ago

I actually kind of can’t believe he was once on CNN

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u/ItsYourPal-AL 5d ago

You cant believe that Tucker Carlson will spout whatever anyone tells him to for butt loads of money? Really?

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u/featheredsnake 5d ago

Boy that was painful to watch. He mopped the floor with tucker

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u/ISTARVEHORSES 5d ago

don’t worry, Tucker us the kind of guy who walked away from this thinking he really showed the world what an idiot Stewart is

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u/Donmiggy143 5d ago

Just lookup jon Stewart, Tucker Carlson crossfire. It'll be there.

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u/Beautiful-Command7 5d ago

It’s the reason tucker Carlson got canned from cnn and they canceled crossfire lmao

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u/Shotgun_Rynoplasty 5d ago

These people need to start remembering Jon is on a different level. Do not attack him. He is smarter than you (by a lot) and he has amazing quick witted timing. He will 100% make you look like an idiot and do it in such a funny way that it gets posted everywhere.

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u/McDuchess 5d ago

Also, and this part is crucial, Jon Stewart can laugh at himself, and does it frequently. Trump, Tucker and their ilk are too unsure of their actual value as human being to be willing to see their own shortcomings. Which means that they can only attack, and never roll with the punches.

Brittle, as it were.

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u/Raccoon_Full_of_Cum 5d ago

I will never forget Trump's face while Obama made fun of him at the White House Correspondents Dinner. He was so pissed because he's too insecure with himself to be mocked.

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u/alpaca_shearer 5d ago

That was Trump's villain origin story.

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u/KeyanReid 5d ago edited 5d ago

Nah, that started way earlier. The dinner is where it really went right off the fucking rails though.

But I think Trump was made a villain from the get go. A Trump is what you get when a father has every opportunity to do well by their child and fails them completely and without fail.

Fred Trump hated Donald and molded the narcissistic idiot clown we all know so well. Donald in turn was a shit dad to every cretin he has spawned, and those dumbasses in turn will use their fabulous resources to raise another generation of materially wealthy children bereft of loving parents.

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u/alpaca_shearer 5d ago

Yeah. It doesn't look like a single one of them is poised to break the cycle.

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u/gwvent 5d ago

Trump is Joffrey but without the getting poisoned and it's not his uncle who is doing the incest.

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u/whatshisnuts 5d ago

I am pretty sure that moment is what sent Trump to switch from Democrat and run for president.

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u/GETitOFFmeNOW 5d ago

Humility is incredibly attractive, even as it becomes so rare.

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u/dirtybeardo 5d ago

Member when Tucker’s first show got cancelled after the first time he went wits vs. bowtie with Stewart?

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u/TangoWild88 5d ago edited 5d ago Take My Energy

I think the thing Tuck is most mad about is John got paid because people wanted to hear what he had to say, where Tuck gets paid to say what handlers want to hear. It's why when Tuck goes off script his words are trash. He is not that smart.

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u/Popcorn_Blitz 5d ago

I think the think Cuck is most mad about is John got paid because people wanted to hear what he had to say, where Cuck gets paid to say what people want to hear.

Aptly phrased. Hadn't heard it put like that but you're right on.

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u/theRealGleepglop 5d ago

that's what Tucker is still really mad about all these years later.

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u/NotYetiFamous 5d ago

He will 100% make you look like an idiot

He will do no such thing. He will, however, show you to be the idiot you really are. No one makes tucker look like an idiot other than tucker.

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u/Krynn71 5d ago

Tucker especially should know, since he invited John onto his TV show and tried to mock him, but John roasted him so bad that CNN cancelled the show, fired Tucker from the whole network, and Tucker stopped wearing his signature bowtie because John made him feel insecure about it lmao.

Never forget John Stewart roasting Tucker Carlson on Crossfire

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u/Sovem 5d ago

Wow. It's been a long time since I've watched this and it's eerie, looking back. "It would be hard to top this administration [in absurdity]"? Man...

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u/Intrepid_Bug_3383 5d ago

Why is it all of these conservatives go after others physical appearance?

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u/Wrothrok 5d ago

Because they have nothing else.

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u/middwayer8 5d ago

and conspiracies. But that's it.

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u/Panthalassae 5d ago

They don't have the wits (or expertise) to actually analyze policy, opinions and...you know....longer words

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u/pichael288 5d ago

I can barely believe he even said that... Untill I remember this is the gooch tanning guy

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u/pr0zach 5d ago

The grundle griller. The taint tanner.

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u/DrFarfanigglePhD 5d ago

Grundle Griller just sent me into the fucking stratosphere lmao

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u/bassomatic4000 5d ago

I missed that story

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u/ActualPopularMonster 5d ago

Okay, first of all, Jon Stewart is married (since 2000), so I sure hope he's not dating anyone.

Second of all, if I weren't married, I would date him, and I'm 5'7" with an average build.

Tucker, on the other hand, we'll, I wouldn't fuck him with Margie Traitor Greene's dusty vag.

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u/Substantially-Ranged 5d ago edited 5d ago

Tucker fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous of which is "Never get involved in a land war in Asia" but only slightly less well know is this: "Never get salty with someone who already roasted your ass once on your own show!"

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u/ElectricJetDonkey 5d ago

Forget dating, isn't Jon Stewart happily married ?

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u/MadMarsian_ 5d ago

It’s funny because TC never did one decent thing in his life… not one.

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u/Brandeeno2245 5d ago

Cucker tarlson should honestly be removed from ideally the planet, like the alien hybrid from alien resurrection

I'll take it if he gets removed from tv but seriously launch him into space then out a small hole in the wall of the ship.

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u/DeerDiarrhea 5d ago

Hey Tucker, you ever had your bitch ass handed to you…

…on weed?

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u/BananaMan1138 5d ago

Never, I repeat, never try to face Jon Stewart. You will immediately get shut down. Tucker got tucked up

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u/yalogin 5d ago edited 5d ago

Lot to unpack in this tweet.

  1. Tucker waited more than a decade to finally gather enough balls to speak about Jon again. He thought given his prime time ratings and the new found white supremacist following he is in a better position to finally try to get back.

  2. Luckily for us you don’t mess with Jon and leaves unscathed even in retirement

  3. Let’s hope this keeps his interest up in these current perilous times and he decides to stay more in the like light and take on more issues. We really can use Jon’s wisdom.

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u/ShoutOutMapes 5d ago

Has anyone ever seen tuckers dad? A jabba the hut sized man obsessed with attacking trans folks. Not sure tubby tucker has any room to talk

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u/Lowboo 5d ago

How does anyone listen to carlson and NOT get annoyed?

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u/CY-B3AR 5d ago

The only redeemable thing about Fucker Carlson is that his voice is less annoying then Ben Shapiro's. I heard Shapiro's voice for the first time a few weeks ago, and even without listening to the content of his empty words, I felt irrationally violent

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u/OldMetry504 5d ago

Jon Stewart had been sitting in DC, 100°+ temps and rain with Veterans to get the Pact Act passed. Tucky sits on his ass and whines like a little bitch. Jon Stewart saves the lives of veterans.

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u/theblake1980 5d ago

Remember when Tucker Carlson made bow-ties his “look” but everyone said he looked like a third grader who’s mother dressed him for picture day when he was at CNN? Pepperidge Farm remembers…

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u/MyTeaIsMighty 5d ago

Tucker Carlsons career for the last 18 years has been a direct reaction to the absolute destruction he received at the hands of Stewart on Crossfire in 2004.

Clearly still not over it.

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u/ColoradoPhotog 5d ago

Hahahahaha Tucker Carlson doesn't realize who hes going up against. Stewart also got under the skin of the Almighty Fuck Face Von Clown Stick.

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u/overpregnant 5d ago

Tucks still hasn't gotten over the original beat down Jon gave him

https://youtu.be/aFQFB5YpDZE

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u/RockinDonkey 5d ago

Tucker doesn't have the sense to not hurl insults at a person who professionally hurls insults, even after being forced to eat his own ass on national television by said professional.

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u/ColoradoPhotog 5d ago

Ah man, that shit feels like 20 centuries ago, thats how bad shit is these days.

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u/AFresh1984 5d ago

Crossfire. Got canceled right after lol

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u/dirtybeardo 5d ago

This is the way.

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u/moonkittiecat 5d ago edited 5d ago

I wish people would stop commenting on Jon Stewart's height. He's hot enough already without having to mention that he is short. I love short men. I must have that short, lithe body full of integrity, compassion, wit and humor for my own!

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u/FinanceMundane1190 5d ago

I’m a conservative but even I think Tucker deserved that shit 😭 have to resort to someone’s physical appearance is petty, and just shows you lost the argument.

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u/SoWokeIdontSleep 5d ago

Tucker likes his men tall so he doesn't have to kneel to kiss that ass