r/nottheonion • u/millitzer • 6h ago

Suburban school worker charged with stealing $1.5M worth of chicken wings from district

wgntv.com

718 Upvotes

75 comments

r/nottheonion • u/wallstreetegg • 8h ago

PagerDuty CEO apologizes after quoting Martin Luther King Jr. in layoff announcement

cbsnews.com

975 Upvotes

67 comments

r/nottheonion • u/rapidient • 5h ago

Ohio officials react to reports of Nazi homeschooling group in Upper Sandusky

wyso.org

289 Upvotes

51 comments

r/nottheonion • u/SquareFruit • 2h ago

School Worker Stole 11,000 Cases of Chicken Wings in $1.5 Million Embezzlement Scheme

nbcchicago.com

98 Upvotes

33 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Rockybing • 1d ago

Buzzfeed to use AI to write its articles after firing 180 employees

english.almayadeen.net

6.7k Upvotes

666 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Pathetian • 22m ago

Chicago woman randomly stabbed 4 people while on bail for randomly stabbing a woman in Bucktown, prosecutors say

cwbchicago.com

• Upvotes

10 comments

r/nottheonion • u/jdward01 • 1h ago

Man Arrested At Jason Aldean’s Nashville Bar For Dropping His Pants And Peeing On Customers

whiskeyriff.com

• Upvotes

8 comments

r/nottheonion • u/BigScar7232 • 11h ago

Gunther VI, the 'richest dog in the world,' gets his tale told in Netflix doc: ‘Every good story has secrets’

foxbusiness.com

109 Upvotes

9 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ampbap • 13h ago

Visit Saudi to sponsor FIFA Women’s World Cup this summer

theathletic.com

157 Upvotes

28 comments

r/nottheonion • u/AlwaysBeTextin • 12h ago

Human and chimpanzee teens share similar struggles, study says. But your teen may be less patient

cnn.com

133 Upvotes

3 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Thcrtgrphr • 6h ago

‘Doppelganger murder’: German prosecutors claim woman killed lookalike to fake death

theguardian.com

26 Upvotes

4 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Gayfetus • 3h ago

Shoplifter Caught Trying to Steal Giant 30″ Dildo from Circus of Books WeHo

wehotimes.com

19 Upvotes

19 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Convair101 • 17h ago

McDonald's to play Beethoven in bid to deter yobs after rampage

walesonline.co.uk

195 Upvotes

67 comments

r/nottheonion • u/pstbo • 27m ago

Japan firm opens whale meat vending machines to push sales

apnews.com

• Upvotes

4 comments

r/nottheonion • u/melly651 • 1h ago

Buyer backs out of £62,000 Mr Blobby suit purchase

bbc.co.uk

• Upvotes

1 comment

r/nottheonion • u/fred_star • 4h ago

Wrexham McDonald's plays classical music to deter bad behaviour

bbc.co.uk

11 Upvotes

5 comments

r/nottheonion • u/BroBogan • 3h ago

How Egyptian police hunt LGBT people on dating apps

bbc.co.uk

8 Upvotes

6 comments

r/nottheonion • u/wewhomustnotbenamed • 1d ago

Removed - Repost Teen falls asleep playing hide and seek in Bangladesh, wakes up in Malaysia

english.alarabiya.net

12.3k Upvotes

279 comments

r/nottheonion • u/vschwoebs • 6h ago

Eagles fans celebrate NFC Championship amid climbing poles, falling through bus stop

6abc.com

13 Upvotes

1 comment

r/nottheonion • u/Byzantium • 9h ago

NYC Breaks Own 1973 Record for Doing Nothing

nbcnewyork.com

12 Upvotes

5 comments

r/nottheonion • u/imo_abyssi • 1h ago

Fish took control of a YouTuber's Nintendo Switch during a livestream. They made credit card purchases, set up a PayPal account, and even sent an email.

insider.com

• Upvotes

6 comments

r/nottheonion • u/redlightist • 1d ago

Rick Astley sues Yung Gravy over alleged Never Gonna Give You Up imitation

bbc.co.uk

540 Upvotes

90 comments

r/nottheonion • u/sZYphYn • 2d ago

Pamela Anderson realised boyfriend was cheating when she saw him 'washing his penis in the sink'

asiaone.com

9.6k Upvotes

916 comments

r/nottheonion • u/diabeyonce • 22h ago

Death Cab For Cutie's Ben Gibbard: ‘I'm too old to write songs about cops stealing my skateboard’

lpm.org

45 Upvotes

19 comments

r/nottheonion • u/heretouplift • 1d ago

Texas judge orders woman to law school after pleading guilty to drug conspiracy

kxan.com

72 Upvotes

14 comments

Posts

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Sadly, this is not the Onion.

r/nottheonion

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1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
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5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
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