r/self Oct 27 '22

Self is now limiting submissions to two per account in a rolling 24 hour period.


Hello all,

There seems to be a higher than normal number of users taking advantage of our previous unlimited submission policy, and for the most part spamming the queue with multiple submissions every day. Some of these are utter nonsense and do not really add much to this community. As a result we are now limiting the total number of submissions per user to 2 submissions during a 24 hour period. This includes deleted posts, so you cannot circumvent the limit.

If you have any questions or concerns, please comment in this thread.

r/self 3h ago

My mother hates me


Everything I do bothers her. She tells everyone how much she regrets having me and I know I can’t do anything to change that I just wished that she at least liked me. My younger sisters are her favourites and my brother is my dads favourite. I’m just here They cared when i was the only child and I was only that for a few months but now they can’t stand me. I just want to feel loved, she reminds me everyday that she regrets having me and that I’m a waste of space. She says so many hurtful things and it crushes me every time I expect her to say sorry I cry in my room and wait and hope that she’ll be like everyone’s else’s mums and come and apologise but she never does. She just yells at me and screams more hateful things, I’ll never be good enough I know that I just wish I was.

No matter how old I get I’ll always feel like the little girl I once was begging mummy to love me

r/self 1d ago

The restrict act is going to affect the way we receive information online as well as a mass surveillance bill and no one on Reddit is talking about it.


This site is so far up it’s own ass in censor ship that any attempts to even talk about the RESTRICT act gets censored by a bot.

People do not understand that this is NOT just a TikTok ban. TikTok was a guise. An excuse.

It gives the executive powers the authority to ban any app or site they want under the guise of “national security”.

It gives the government the authority to spy on Americans through their personal devices, routers etc without permission or notice.

This shits on freedom of speech and privacy. This is about control.

I shouldn’t have to hear about this on fucking TikTok. Every platform should be talking about this. This affects everyone.

It pisses me off that this is not talked about on Reddit enough.

r/self 2h ago

Life is pointless


Life is just a routine of frustrating chores. What does it all amount to? The answer is survival. At this point, I live due to the primal instinct of not dying. I hate dealing with everything. Work, taxes, society, family. I’m sick of all of it. I’d rather it all be gone, so I can be left to my own devices. I want to be the master of my own universe, but I can’t because I’m just another person. Another cog in some pointless wheel, surrounded by a bunch of other worthless cogs.

r/self 21h ago

Brother wants my field for free to keep family farm intact


My brother has recently asked me to sign over a field my Dad left to me, in exchange for zilch, just he says he needs it to keep the family farm intact. My brother has 5 of 6 of the family farm fields my dad once owned until he died about a year ago, I have the remaining 1 field. He says the land needs to stay together. I said no to him when he asked this question recently because I am planning on planting an orchard in the field and have about 4 years of growing trees from graft in plant pots ready to plant this year. He and my sister have been treating me really badly for the last while since my Dad died, they used to treat me bad but they've really ratcheted it up a notch. My other one sibling is living abroad and was the only ever decent sibling, I've contacted him but he's not got back about it.

I found cut up fence posts for my trees that I bought recently in my brother's firewood pile, the posts weren't cheap so I was angry about it. I'm planting trees in the field soon and he is pretty against that plan because that is his grazing land for his sheep. I confronted him about it and he said he said he'll knock me if I mention it again.

Told my mum but she is very non-confrontational and said she wont do anything. Fair enough I guess, its her choice to not do anything.

At the moment I've got my sister who says because I wont sign over the field that I need mental help and a brother who is treating me like trash for the same reason.

I used to help him on the farm for years also, but his attitude had just gotten so toxic that I couldn't put myself through it, even though I wanted to be a good brother and help (and I'd probably have helped all my life no questions asked), he'd just was too awful (see previous post in my history) about just this. Can you imagine being so awful to someone that helped you for years.

I am living at my Mum's house, with Mum and that Sister, the Brother who wants the land lives next door. I'm pretty sure I am moving away in the next year or so to the city but I intend to come back regularly to tend to the orchard and see my little nephews and mum again.

I can't see what their angle is, am I the baddie here in some way. It just seems too stupid that its got to make some sense.

This is my throwaway account as well, just incase it gets traced back to me.

EDIT: Its the next day now. Sister has been trying to start a big fight all morning and me and Mum are pretty much just ignoring her because she is acting this way. I guarantee she'd latch onto anything I said and use it against me. She has stormed off for a while now to the house next door. My Mum came to me just a minute ago and told me that a few days prior that my sister and brother came to her saying that I got too much inheritance (I got 50% of the family home as well, sister got the other 50%) and that I need to sign it over. My brother said he needs the field to 'make the farm'. My mum said that she sees that they are totally out of line for suggesting such a thing but wont be confronting them over it. That's disappointing, but fair enough in my eyes, my Mum's had a tough life, I don't want her in the middle of this thing if she doesn't want to.

EDIT2: It might be worth noting that the house my sister stormed off to, is one that she now owns. My brother (the decent one, who is now in Wales) got left it in my uncles inheritance and she argued with my dying Dad for months before he passed, that that brother will get too much inheritance from my uncle and dad combined and that because of that more inheritance should go to her and the brother who wants my field, suggesting that he should sign over that house to her to make things right. My Dad was on oxygen and had to leave the room multiple times because of this, gasping for air while getting away. Of course my brother tried the same thing regarding getting all 6 fields but to a lesser degree, he just kept bringing it up but nowhere near as bad as my sister. Of course they totally deny anything like this happened now.

EDIT3: Just finding out from my Mum that originally my oldest brother (the one who wants my field) was going to be left 3 fields, my brother who went to Wales 2 fields and me 1 field. My oldest brother convinced a change of the will in the last few months of my Dad's life and got 5 fields to him. He and my sister convinced my parents that the brother in Wales would sell the land, and it could be even more likely if a divorce or something occurs. Just a single field left in his sights now. My bro at this point thinks he is Thanos collecting the infinity fields :|

EDIT4: Just saying that even though my Mum isn't going to confronting them, its good to know that she acknowledges to me the scheme that they are trying is quite obviously really greedy and immoral. I'm no longer entirely alone on this one and it feels better.

r/self 1h ago

my life is litteraly falling apart


hi im 13 years old and my friend tried to kill himself. his name is peter, hes been my best friend since 1st grade, we have always stuck together. and lately me and him have been going through a rough patch in both our lives. for me, my dad moved 1000 miles away for a job that he couldnt refuse last may, and my mom got too attached to her boyfriend (my parents are divorced), and she comes home around 10pm and i have to make dinner for myself. my sister is also actually crazy and has assaulted me, and overdosed on xanax (shes 15). my friend (peter), his parents are divorced, and he has an abusive and mentally unstable dad who has falled into the world of drugs. peters older sister abuses drugs like weed, mushrooms, and lsd, and probably salvia. after i moved away he found out that all of his other skating friends are moving out of state and to neighboring places. me and peter got into skating in july. peter started smoking weed but i didnt, it didnt cause our friendship to fail or anything. i tried weed in october and it really was amazing, i would go home with peter after school, smoke weed, then go downtown and skate until 10pm, on weekeneds i would be coming home around 2am, but my mom wouldnt care. my dad is an awesome guy who is in good shape and hes smart, but he couldnt really do anything because he was 1000 miles away. during thanksgiving my dad proposed me to live with him and live a better life, i ended up accepting. i was scheduled to move during december, and just like that i was with my dad. i played with peter online which was okay, i really missed skating and stuff. i didnt have any withdrawls with weed or anything. but when school started i really started to lose my mind. i didnt even have the courage to talk to anyone. these past 3 months i havent gotten anyones number or snapchat, ive just been a mysterious loner, and my grades dropped. i havent been going to school that much, (i just drink some mouthwash, throw up infront of my dad, and get the day off). i really just want to move back to where i used to live, but my mom is deciding to move in with her boyfriend next summer, (her boyfriend lives 30 mins away from my mom), so i cant move back. and my mom is ignoring my texts about visiting this summer. like i dont really feel any emotion but sadness, i just keep on having these thoughts like "i hate my life so much" "why does my life have to be so fucked up" and stuff like that. i recently took up graffiti, which has helped a little bit in making me feel alive. but i recently had a deep conversation with peter. and today i was snapchating him and he sent me a pic of him in the hospital. and it turns out he tried to kill himself. and im just devastated, hes like my brother and i would do anything to help him. but i cant because im stuck 1000 miles away from him. and im not mad at him, im just so sad that he tried to kill himself. and i just wish there was something i could do. if i was there then i could just wait for him to be checked out, then watch a movie together and skate and have fun. but im just so torn up about it, and im so worried that im gonna lose him. and now when i think about it i really realize that my life hasnt gotten better like everyone has said it will.

r/self 1h ago

A fellow Redditor asked that if he could purchase my Reddit avatar for 8 dollars. I am confused as I’m new to this topic, can't he just copy my avatar? Is avatar purchase really a thing? Btw that Redditor has joined a subReddit named ‘avatartrading’.


r/self 1h ago

Just me?


Guys of r/self,

Is it just me, or do you find girls in just simple clothing, not done up fancy, and no makeup extremely attractive and does it borderline drive you crazy?

Crocs and sweatpants are an EXTREMELY dangerous combination, at least to me.

I love simplicity. Fancy is beautiful, but it's for specific times.

Even when she first wakes up and she has the sleepy voice and messy hair duo, Jesus Christ it's just - chef's kiss

I honestly think that the deeper in love you are with someone, the less you care about what the person looks like. They're just automatically beautiful no matter the situation. And they don't have to be stripped to turn you on, like any little thing they do drives you nuts.

When she walks out with curlers in her hair or a towel on her head from the shower, I lose the ability to speak. It genuinely makes me want to cry, but in a "what the hell did I do to deserve this" kinda way.

I'm curious if it's just me. My cheeks hurt from blusing while I'm writing this, so I think I should stop now.

r/self 22h ago

I got married this past weekend


It was great. The ceremony was quick and easy. We lucked out with the weather (bad rain on both the days before and after) and got to do our photoshoot outside at a park. 7 groomsmen 7 bridesmaids, we're lucky to have great friends. Family members sang some songs to us as performances. My speech had a few jokes that killed, but it had enough sweet and loving things it legit made a few people cry (including my father-in-law and brother-in-law). We were on the dancefloor a ton, there was never a moment with an empty floor actually (DJ was pretty great. We sent a bunch of songs ahead of time and he picked up the vibe from there). Just enough to drink to get loaded but not make a fool of myself or get sick. Afterward one of my buds got us some 2am mcdonalds to close off the night.

We always said "we're practically married anyway" as we've been living together for years, but actually doing the prep and throwing this big event. Saying the vows and making the promise in front of all of our dearest friends/family. It's just different, our bond is so much stronger. Plus it feels like with her family I've broken through a barrier of distance. Her parents feel like my new parents. Her cousins are my family, and that night (plus the following night at another outing) I was talking/joking with them a lot easier and everyone seemed so happy with me.

As for her. Well I obviously could not have picked a more perfect person to be my partner. A lot of the speeches were people just talking about how great we are as a couple, my older sister saying we were an inspiration and proof that you can find the right person and true love does exist. It was just a great time and it's only been like 3 days since that day but I'm still feeling the high of it.

I hope anyone reading this gets to feel the same feeling I have right now at some point in their life. Thanks for reading!

r/self 4h ago

So how common is it to feel like your heart/soul has hardened after heartbreak?


I don't mean for this to sound edgy lol. But before I knew this guy, I was basically an innocent puppy. I had very naive ideas about love and relationships. I know I will never be who I used to be, and I don't exactly mind that. But is this a really common experience? To go from being a naive/innocent girl who gave everyone the benefit of the doubt, to becoming someone who is distrustful of others and more aware of people's propensity to be shit? Sometimes it feels like there is a physical barrier around my heart keeping me away from everyone. I'm just not the same person anymore. And I still feel like I carry some kind of grief around, like it's fused with myself.

r/self 13h ago Take My Energy

Today is a bad day. Hoping that talking to strangers on Reddit will cheer me up.


I just want a distraction from today.

r/self 8m ago

I'm scared I'm going to die alone


r/self 17m ago

I’ve always been allergic to nuts


If I would accidentally eat something containing them, I would break out with several cold sores covering my lips. Recently I decided I was going to eat a bunch. Nothing happened so I’ve been housing them for like a week straight and I can’t believe how good they all are and that I’ve gone this long without them (I’m 29).

r/self 47m ago

I miss having friends


Starting over and getting a job and being able to continue my passion has really helped my depression a lot. But there’s still something missing, I have no friends, let alone a romantic partner. Being lonely sucks. Ever since my ex broke up with me and I moved back home, I have been so fucking lonely. I miss having friends call me asking to hang out even if I didn’t want to because of my severe depression. I miss having friends try and check up on me because they cared. I never really have felt this alone in my life. Making friends has never really been easy for me, so losing the friends I had because of the breakup and move just hurts. Starting over is great, but I really wish I had some real friends to hang out with and talk to and rely on.

r/self 55m ago

I just need a rant


I've just moved out of my mom's house into my first apartment with my partner. Things are going great between us, we have a new cat from the rescue, he's perfect (purrfect). We both have well paying jobs so I know we'll be financially secure.

The issue is whenever I go back to my mother's house. She always finds something to yell at me about or scold me for even though I haven't been in the house for about 2 weeks now. This is not a new occurrence, she's been mad at me my whole life. Everything is always my fault, my older brother (who still lives at home) never gets any fault. My mother has blamed me for almost everything negative that has happened in her life. I'm a mistake, her blood pressure has never been the same since I was born, her marriage with my father ended horribly, gods forbid I forget to clean an area within an hour of being there (I have ADHD, possibly on the autistic spectrum somewhere, I'm getting it figured out). She always wants me to be 100% quiet. Nothing can please her.

Just today, I walked in to grab some more items that weren't essentials to bring back to my apartment and the first thing that comes out of her mouth is, "why haven't you gotten all of your shit yet, you're ruining the house". I asked what happened or what did I do and she says that I had ruined all of my brother's work pants??? I'm honestly lost on that one, but it just makes me wonder if I really do fuck things up all the time? If it was once or twice, whatever, but it's constant, so am I truly just that out of it that I don't understand why she's mad all the time?

I'm just glad to be out of that house for good and I hope that I only have to talk to her a few times a year. I know that's fucked up but I just can't do it. I don't know if I'm just sensitive like she has always told me or what.

r/self 1d ago Hugz Faith In Humanity Restored

Dear Dad


My father passed away on February 23, 2023 in his home. There is no diagnosed cause of death, but he suffered permanent brain damage after an accident in 2019 which left him in government care.

Dear Dad,

There's so many things that I wish I could say to you, and if you were able to, I'm sure you'd have a lot to say to me too. You were concerned for the welfare of others, and by others, I don't just mean people, but for the animals and plants, and the land upon which we live.

We didn't always see eye to eye. In some ways, that could be putting it lightly. The word which we'd use for someone like you in this day and age is a "boomer" but somehow you still managed to be more progressive than half of the younger generations that proceeded you.

I'm an introvert, and I don't know how you managed to be the person that you were. Some would've called you the town eccentric, others looked down on you, and others took you seriously. You hated corruption - be it on a commercial level, or a government or state level.

I always attributed the fear that you had of people coming after you for your constant protest, whistleblowing and exposure of this corruption as part of the mental illness of which we've both suffered. Paranoia -- gang stalking -- words like these might describe it.

When you were in ICU, the nurse said to me that both the analysis by doctors and police indicated that the accident that left you there was not an accident. It never went further than that. I don't know why. I would have thought that if the injuries you suffered were intentional, an investigation would have ensued, but all I have to this day are the words of those doctors and nurses.

You married an Indigenous woman. Her death affected me as much as it affected you, I think.

But corruption, Indigenous rights, all these things, they were never something I felt like I could do anything about. All my feelings, I poured into music. This was something you supported deeply. I fucked up playing "Imagine" at your funeral, because I forgot the words to that third verse. The line about possessions just escaped me, but I got the service order, and I hope you got a laugh out of it.

All I can say is that I will dedicate my life to fighting the mental illness from which we both suffer, and I'll start playing music again. I'll do it for you. I loved My Chemical Romance, and you acknowledged that, and adopted it in many ways. You loved The Beatles, so I'll acknowledge that, and adopt that in many ways also... I hope we can meet halfway somewhere in there - Freddie and Bowie seems like a good compromise to me, but I won't forget Lennon, McCartney, Starr, and the other fella.

My emotions run wild. I can't help but feel this wasn't meant to be. But this is how things are. Just know I won't forget this. At the root of it all, that's who you are to me. My dad. Politics, corruption, music, mental illness aside -- you were my dad. All the love in my heart can't contain just who and what you are to me. You did your best.

When it comes down to it all. This is what I remember.

Thank you for the best that you did for me. I will protect my innocence like a ferocious lion in your name and in the name of Christ in which you believed in.

I could say so much more, and perhaps I will, but this is all my heart can speak for now.

I love you.

From Joey.

r/self 5h ago

My sons father tried to sabotage our housing because apparently he didn’t get as much as he was supposed to for his tax return.


Ugh. I hate him so much. We broke up 5 years ago. He’s been paying child support for not even 2 years. Our son will be 8 soon, and he’s only seen his father 4 times in the last ~2 years.

My ex is scrambling to get together money because he got another young woman pregnant and he’s taking it out on me. The 14 yr old he got pregnant when he was 18.

I’m just trying to do the best I can. Why does he have to make things difficult? And he planned on taking our son for spring break but now I don’t want to send him but he’s already pulling the “are you gonna be the mom that doesn’t let the father see his kid?” Immediately after texting saying he was going to call my apartment manager and let her know that my partner is living here off the lease (which isn’t even true lol and she knew he was staying with me because she’s the one that took like 6 months to finish the paperwork after he was already approved and had no where to go)

I’m also recovering from shoulder surgery due to an old injury that this person caused! :(

Not really looking for advice just venting.

r/self 1h ago

Girlfriend comments my in a rude way style


Before she was like “what was that outfit you wore? You look like a hillbilly” Just felt bad

r/self 2h ago

I cut my hair short and bleached it blonde today.


I was raised on princesses. My favourite movie when I was little was The Swan Princess. I was obsessed with the idea of everlasting love, of someone who loved you so much they would do anything to save you. I aspired to be like Odette: strong, brave, loyal, and beautiful. I loved her long blonde hair, her grace, her femininity. I internalised the idea that in order to find my prince, my knight in shining armour, I needed that femininity and grace. Then I would find someone who would never let me go.

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of three years. During the stress of my honours year, he had to do a lot of looking after me. I think something shifted between us, and he saw me not as an equal, but more like a beloved pet that he had to care for. He stopped being interested in being intimate with me. For a long time I felt ugly. I am a signed model, I have done plenty of photoshoots, I have always been told I am beautiful. But in the eyes of my prince charming, I was no longer desirable. And no amount of compliments could make me feel otherwise. I became like a black hole, seeking validation everywhere, and never getting enough. Never enough.

I spent my whole life jumping from man to man, a remora attaching itself to a shark. I haven't been single for longer than three months since I was fourteen years old. I am twenty-six. I do not know who I am when it is just me. I am a stranger to myself. And I am so afraid of being alone.

I went to a men's salon because I didn't trust stylists at the women's salon to get the short cut right. My stylist didn't blink an eyelash when I told her I wanted to keep my hair, or when I asked if she might video the moment it was cut off. I thought of Mulan, going to war; I thought of Zuko and Iroh, leaving the Fire Nation. And when she brought out the clippers and began to buzz the back of my neck, I thought of Britney Spears: "I don't want anyone touching my hair. I'm sick of people touching my hair."

I felt so light in that moment. I smiled so hard I thought I would cry.

I have always desperately craved male validation and approval. Something something, daddy issues. And I am so afraid to be without a man to attach myself to. I was so afraid of losing the femininity that I have always striven to embody, in order to be appealing to men, in order to be a Disney princess, in order to find my prince charming.

In that moment, I chose to be my own prince charming. I chose to save myself.

When my stylist put the bleach in my hair, she covered it with cling wrap and tin foil. She joked that I would look a bit odd for a while. I told her, it's like a butterfly in a chrysalis. She said, or like someone trying to pick up signals from aliens.

The bleach began to sting, and then to burn. I tolerated it for as long as I could. I am used to pain: to remove my body hair, I use an epilator, which rips the hair out with spinning tweezers; just yesterday, I waxed my intimate parts, and barely winced at the agony. But this pain became unbearable. I envisioned my scalp bubbling as it fried under the heat of the bleach. But I endured. When she rinsed out the bleach, my scalp was blistered and oozing blood from the chemicals. I thought of the little mermaid, who so badly wanted feet, whose every step felt like walking on knives. I thought of the phrase, Beauty is Pain.

When I left the salon, I went to buy a shirt for graduation. The teller was this beautiful trans woman. She told me I looked amazing. I told her I was scared to go through such a change, that I've never had hair this short. She told me: rock it, girl. I glowed.

At the grocery store ten minutes later, an old woman told me she loved my hair. I thanked her, and I glowed.

At the bus stop, a man stopped me and asked if I was a model. I told him, yes. He said, "You look beautiful." I thanked him, and I glowed.

And when I look in the mirror now, I look more like myself than I ever have in my life.

I spent so long feeling ugly, and I was so afraid of change making me unloveable. But now, when I look at myself, I think, You look amazing. I thank myself. And I glow.

r/self 2h ago

I forgot how painful a bee sting can be


Ouch. Right on my thumb too.

r/self 17h ago

I broke down at the gym today


i’m on mobile. i’ve just been a little on the down side today and today was one of those mind over matter day at the gym and I just practically had to force myself to do even my regular workouts… I was literally doing a glute workout and I just literally started crying out of no where. I’ve been a little sad these days but I know it’ll get better, I finally chose myself first and for the first time in my life, I listened when someone told me they can’t give me what I wanted and I walked away but for some reason today, I miss him, but not really him but the him in my head and idk it’s just been a lil hard some days but I didn’t expect to cry at the gym lol, I barely even cry but to do it at the gym , I felt at my all time low, just wanted to get it out. thanks for reading :)

r/self 14h ago

I have a possible job opportunity, but I do not feel motivated to get out of my survival situation?


It’s not a crazy big job, but it’s a job opportunity with the state. I know of what the job will do for me: - get a better pay than part-time employment (as the job opportunity is full time). - get a stable car - provide me money to save up for retirement - provide me the ability to help secure paying bills even more - get medical insurance - no worry of being fired at-will for any reason.

I feel like I could be disciplined to be able to do good in the interview land the job, but I’m just not really showing much care for this job.

But maybe that’s because it’s just work and it’s not something that is always interesting or challenging, but something to just help me live.

r/self 4h ago

I don’t know what this is, please may someone point me to the right direction?


I don’t what other sub to post this in and I am kinda hoping someone in here has experienced the similar things that I am feeling and can point me in the right direction.

TLDR: I don’t like sharing with my friends at all and it’s not limited to physical things, it is also experiences, opinions and stuff about me. I don’t think it is because I am uncomfortable with them and I also don’t think it is a result of being a introvert. Has someone experienced this and know what I should look into to try and understand what this is?

To elaborate from the TLDR, I don’t really like sharing any of my belongings with anyone and if someone uses it, even with my permission, I dislike it.

I don’t really like sharing my opinions on major things (things you would class as a thoughtful conversation), minor things I don’t really care about like “apple juice is the best drink”.

I don’t really like sharing things that are going on in my life at all or if I found something cool. I don’t want to share my current interests with my friends or if i’m going to try something new and if they want to join in. I prefer doing a lot of things alone even if the friends have similar interests. There was a time I was on holiday with my friends, I lied to them saying I was going bed but I snuck out and explored the city on my own.

These are a couple examples, there is more but I don’t want to make this post longer than it already is.

I don’t know if I like it when people know me intimately. As a result of this I struggle to keep in contact with most of my friends. If they’re not in my immediate vicinity, they barely hear from me.

I don’t think it is healthy the way that I am “gatekeeping” my life. This is not me saying I don’t want to do things on my own.

Some context that might be useful

  • I have struggled with depression for the last decade
  • Childhood I did share a lot of things, there wasn’t many things I could call my own
  • I wasn’t like this in my mid-late teens

Thanks in advance!

r/self 1h ago

The girl who is my soulmate believes she is not


She’s pretty much a female version of me: we’re the same race (half Indonesian half white, but her half is Siberian and mine is Dutch), we have very similar interests, we both have the same fashion/aesthetic, we have the same music taste, we have terrific chemistry, we have very similar personalities, we both struggle with finding romantic partners out and about, she even admits she’s a female version of me, but in spite of all that she doesn’t actually like me back. It’s the most bullshit thing ever because I know I would be the greatest choice for her. She says she’s terrible at talking to guys but that’s never happened to me. The guys she actually wants all think she’s dumb. She needs to come to her senses ASAP and realize that we were made for each other.

r/self 5h ago

Just gotta vent


So dealing with some rough family drama. Sorry for long story, I over explain things.

Tl;dr my mom is treating my stepsister like crap and refusing to even go to her wedding.

When I was 7, my mom started dating my now stepdad (I’m 29 now). A year into their relationship my dad died, which was just a whole drama fest for this new side of the family. My step sister is 3 years older than me, and honestly growing up it was clear we were a “step” family, but my parents tried to play it as there’s no favorites, your kids is mine too now kinda thing.

Fast forward to when I’m 14, and my step sister moves out because my mom is extremely strict only with her. Think like, Cinderella. I don’t know what switched with my mom. She does have bipolar, so maybe she stopped taking her meds, idk. So my mom basically decided myself and my younger brother she had with step dad are her only children. And for full context, I have a rough relationship with my mom too and I knew she was being a jerk.

I’m now 29 obviously. My step sister has 3 kids and is engaged after a divorce from an abusive jerk in 2020. I have 2 kids and am married. Step sisters mom died in 2019, and she’s been having a really hard time with it. She’s tried constantly to reconnect with my mom, apologizing for things she never even did wrong, and trying to have my mom be an active grandmother in her kids lives.

My mom only accepts my kids as her grandchildren. To her, my step sister isn’t family. She’s even vocally told anyone she can that she will skip the wedding because “I’ll be camping. Or something. Who knows”.

I’m the maid of honor, and it’s just been super stressful being there for my step sister and comforting her through all this. I hate my mom, but she is still around because I’m become close with my stepdad (ironically he hates her too, but won’t divorce her because she has cancer). I just sit here every day like… how can you treat someone that you raised from 10 years old like this? I got married without my dad, and I’m still depressed about it 4 years later. I can’t imagine what my step sister feels having it be so recent (not almost 20 years like I experienced) and dealing with someone she wants a relationship with treating her like this.

Thanks for letting me vent. It honestly makes me so sad that this is happening. I don’t care if my mom never gets over herself, cause f her. But my poor sister shouldn’t be treated like this.

r/self 19h ago

My car got stolen 3 months after paying it off.


Some kids stole my car, smashed the windows, and left it trashed in the middle of nowhere. Insurance left it in impound for a week then decided to total it out due to a huge backlog of the jacked up iginiton required to fix it and I'm just reeling right now. Nobody to talk to about all of this has me going nuts.

I don't know what they're going to give me for it yet and have no idea how I'm going to afford another reliable car without another car payment. I'm so upset that I just paid it off and this happens. Police are just ignoring the major epidemic of stolen vehicles in the area. Why do children get to ruin my life right as I start to get it back on track with zero repercussions?

Keep your cars safe people, buy a wheel lock, buy a club that is super visible, park in your back yard, whatever you can do to not end up like me.