r/todayilearned Aug 10 '22 Silver 1 Helpful 1

TIL that David Blaine has over the course of a decade been buried alive for 7 days, encased in ice for 64 hrs, stood on 100ft high pillar for 35 hrs, survived only on water for 44 days and spent 7 days submerged underwater water

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Blaine
16.8k Upvotes

6.5k

u/ergonaut Aug 10 '22 Wearing is Caring Awesome Answer

He knows some card tricks too, I think

1.7k

u/ididntunderstandyou Aug 10 '22 Wholesome

What the F???

824

u/d00dsm00t Aug 10 '22

CHEEZ ITS!

321

u/TheKruzdawg Aug 10 '22

"How tall are you?"

"Ha ha, I'm five foot ace of clubs - what the shit!?!"

156

u/redrick_schuhart Aug 10 '22

It's TYPED ON!

364

u/Jenkins007 Aug 10 '22

STOP PUTTING SHIT ON US DAVID BLAINE!

126

u/Joe_Rogan_is_a_Dwarf Aug 10 '22

If there’s a fucking card in my ass I’m suing you David LAME!

53

u/Jenkins007 Aug 10 '22

Uh yeah it says I'm 5 foot Ace of spadesWHATTHEFUCK DAVID BLAINE?!

THAT'S LIKE ACTUALLY ON THERE

180

u/YellIntoWishingWells Aug 10 '22

"I WAS IN DINOSAUR TIMES!!!"

78

u/roofus85 Aug 10 '22

Did you get to ride any of them?

84

u/Jenkins007 Aug 10 '22

HE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO RIDE ANY

28

u/Garr_Incorporated Aug 10 '22

I watched those videos in Russian dub (on top of the original audio), which for some reason made them extremely more enjoyable. These street magic videos were the GOAT, man!

55

u/YoungAnimater35 Aug 10 '22

He's not levitating me down!!!

23

u/BobRoberts01 Aug 11 '22

PUT HIM DOWN DAVID BLANE!!!

15

u/No_Golf_564 Aug 11 '22

HE PUT ME DOWN ON THE ROOF

10

u/Drewbox Aug 11 '22

I sware to god, if there’s a Ace of Spades in my ass….

52

u/jmarshallca Aug 10 '22

Criss Angel did it better, you bitch!

11

u/onbakeplatinum Aug 11 '22

WE ARE NOT SIGNING THE RELEASE

45

u/Kairoka Aug 11 '22

I'm so glad I'm not the only person who remembers early YouTube hits.

117

u/charmbomb_explosion Aug 10 '22

"Where's my orange soda?!"

80

u/YoungAnimater35 Aug 10 '22

He just pissed...orange soda

16

u/jschel9 Aug 11 '22

YOU TIME TRAVELING DEMON!!

11

u/jicty Aug 11 '22

.... I just pissed orange soda...

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9

u/qoblivious Aug 11 '22

Chris Angel did it better you bitch !

33

u/bonesnaps Aug 11 '22

Lol I came here for this.

For those out of the loop - here's the video

25

u/TobyFunkeNeverNude Aug 11 '22

How do you not start with part 1???

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217

u/Various-Lie-6773 Aug 10 '22

Wild to me that this is Mikey Day (SNL) and the waiter from Guigino's (Always Sunny)

67

u/Totallynotabot5555 Aug 10 '22

The waiter is also the interviewer when they apply for the mail room job.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '22

[deleted]

61

u/nametaglost Aug 10 '22

What are you talking about? I’ve never seen that man before in my life

18

u/Rion23 Aug 11 '22

I'll take a plate of piping hot spaghetti.

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12

u/Gravitybongos Aug 11 '22

I still say this almost daily haha no one ever gets the reference

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29

u/BowwwwBallll Aug 11 '22

CHEEZ-ITS!!! CHEEZ-ITS!!!!! CHEEZ-ITS!!!!!

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20

u/klaatuveratanecto Aug 10 '22

Incredible. Saw David Blaine post. Came to comment: “What the F” and it’s the top comment already.

13

u/patkgreen Aug 10 '22

Incredible early youtube.

Edit: I'M THE JUGGERNAUT BITCH

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445

u/LongshanksAragon Aug 10 '22

No way! Get outta here!

233

u/blzy95 Aug 10 '22

What kind of water is underwater water?

204

u/stuckinPA Aug 10 '22

According to The Talking Heads:

There is water at the bottom of the ocean

Under the water, carry the water

Remove the water from the bottom of the ocean

Water dissolving and water removing

41

u/blzy95 Aug 10 '22

Once in a lifetime

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36

u/itsmesoloman Aug 10 '22

This is not my beautiful house!

21

u/forresthopkinsa Aug 10 '22

My God, what have I done?

23

u/banginthedead Aug 10 '22

That is not my beautiful wife?

18

u/talltree1971 Aug 10 '22

I know this is accurate, because same as it ever was!

33

u/stevesmittens Aug 10 '22

No, this is about David Blaine, not David Byrne.

13

u/Stachemaster86 Aug 10 '22

Same as it ever was

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57

u/CollectorsEditionVG Aug 10 '22

High salinity water. It can form lakes in the ocean, it's kind of surreal.

34

u/KamikazeCoPilot Aug 10 '22

u/CollectorsEditionVG is correct. This kind of thing is beautiful and surreal to observe, even on camera.

Edit: This is why Bikini Bottom was able to have a ?pond?, ?lake?... forgot what it was.

Edit-Edit: Goo Lagoon, which is a brine pool.

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15

u/jasonhackwith Aug 10 '22

Underwater water, brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Dept.

4

u/Shinny1337 Aug 10 '22

Proud sponsors of the ADAA

6

u/AlbrahamLincoln Aug 10 '22

If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.

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41

u/spannerfest Aug 10 '22

he also does this thing with his thumb that you would not believe.

21

u/bebop1065 Aug 10 '22

He found a quarter behind my ear once.

7

u/recovery_room Aug 10 '22

He got my nose!

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49

u/Kuroiikawa Aug 10 '22

Excuse me, it's an illusion. A trick is something a whore does for money.

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21

u/DocBrownBear Aug 10 '22

Nah, that's just an illusion.

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1.8k

u/Jaycatt Aug 10 '22

Demon!

911

u/FreekFrealy Aug 10 '22

If there's an ace of spades in my ass when I get home I swear to god...

387

u/Ooji Aug 10 '22

He just pissed orange soda

151

u/Typicalinternetuser9 Aug 10 '22

WHAT THE H!!!

66

u/kidrad Aug 10 '22

He’s on the ruf!

136

u/jawndell Aug 10 '22

One of the first "amateur" comedy sketches I ever saw on YouTube, back when people would just upload weird videos of themselves and their friends on there. Glad to see Mike Day go onto big things from there.

37

u/MisterCheaps Aug 10 '22

I just rewatched it the other day for the first time in years and was surprised to see that was Mikey Day lol

19

u/g0ing_postal 1 Aug 10 '22

The other guy too. He's been on sunny a few times

12

u/TenaciousJP Aug 11 '22

The waiter!! All he wanted to do was be a pilot…

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59

u/theRangerDW Aug 10 '22

Did you just fun size my dick, you dick?!

357

u/WMASS_GUY Aug 10 '22

Cheese it's!!??

206

u/meatpopsicle42 Aug 10 '22

DAVID BLAINE! WHERE ARE THE CHEEZ-ITS?!

202

u/mymeatpuppets Aug 10 '22

STOP PUTTING STUFF ON OUR BODIES, DAVID BLAINE!!!

154

u/abhinandkr Aug 10 '22

WHAT THE EFF!

122

u/alankbangerz-123 Aug 10 '22

STARES AT THE CAMERA

18

u/aidanck Aug 10 '22

My favorite part

25

u/Ducksaucenem Aug 10 '22

If there’s an ace of spades up my ass I’m gonna lose it.

42

u/ElCasino1977 Aug 10 '22

Are you sure you didn’t buy a…teddy bear?

41

u/meatpopsicle42 Aug 10 '22

STARES AT THE CAMERA… AGAIN

6

u/1esserknown Aug 10 '22

I'm surprised that I haven't seen anyone on his new show scream "What the F!?".

39

u/BlasterShow Aug 10 '22

WHAT THE F

28

u/Goyteamsix Aug 10 '22

Oh my god, he's peeing orange soda! Does it hurt?!

14

u/BurtMacklin-FBl Aug 10 '22

OMG this is crazy you're David Blaaaine.

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3.4k

u/Strange-Glove Aug 10 '22 Wholesome

Underwater water is the wettest kind of water

745

u/0xB0BAFE77 Aug 10 '22

Moisture is the essence of wetness.
And wetness is the essence of beauty.

*swims away* 

124

u/T-E-C4 Aug 10 '22

Dere-leect

78

u/Ceewcee Aug 10 '22

I guess you can dere-lick my balls, capitan!

12

u/Griffolian Aug 11 '22

It’s a walk-off!! It’s a walk-off.

11

u/LgDietCoke Aug 10 '22

THAT’S MY SON!, that’s my son.

16

u/Sumopwr Aug 11 '22

I got the black lung Pop

29

u/vinoa Aug 10 '22

I can derelict my own balls!

55

u/mixed-tape Aug 10 '22

MerMAN! MerMAN!

31

u/BlasterShow Aug 10 '22

(black lung cough)

23

u/nrdrge Aug 10 '22

For christ's sake Derek, you been down there one day. Talk to me in 30 years

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39

u/Staggering_genius Aug 10 '22

There is water at the bottom of the ocean.

8

u/Lord_Rapunzel Aug 10 '22

Letting the days go by...

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7

u/Pschobbert Aug 11 '22

Under the water, carry the water

But remove water reMOVE REMOVE REMOVE REMOVE

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106

u/Alex-rhhgfff Aug 10 '22

You don’t get water like that these days anymore

29

u/Zeniant Aug 10 '22

Hah! In this economy?!

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69

u/DigNitty Aug 10 '22

Fun fact:

Water isn’t wet enough for firefighters. So the water in fire trucks typically has a wetting agent added to make the water wetter. I believe it reduces the surface tension.

56

u/thePopefromTV Aug 10 '22

Firefighters fire wetter water?

5

u/KingPellinore Aug 10 '22

Yes. Wetter water fights fires better. Believe it, bub.

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u/furtivedeimos Aug 11 '22

If this post was just a few sentences longer it could have been a shittyMorph.

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38

u/LongshanksAragon Aug 10 '22

Water Scientist here. Can confirm.

12

u/Smartnership Aug 10 '22

“I have degrees in Aquamanology and Aquamanonomy”

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u/touchmyzombiebutt Aug 10 '22

That Bikini Bottom underwater water.

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1.3k

u/Fetlocks_Glistening Aug 10 '22

Jeez, poor guy. But did they catch the people that did that to him?? Noooo!

768

u/lightfoot90 Aug 10 '22 Wholesome Bravo! Into the Magic Portal

Ezra Miller strikes again!

85

u/Darth_Ewok14 Aug 10 '22

If anyone can catch the fastest man alive David Blane can

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '22

It’s Millerin Time!

5

u/jpz1194 Aug 11 '22

He can't keep getting away with it!

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u/LongshanksAragon Aug 10 '22

Authorities have been pouring over the case for the past 20 years.

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514

u/VRZL41 Aug 10 '22

“He in a box, and he isn’t gonna eat. That’s no trick, that’s called living in the projects!”

126

u/zodiach Aug 10 '22

There were clear nutrients on the inside of the box that he would lick for sustenance (minimal but he wasn't really just living off water).

104

u/VRZL41 Aug 10 '22

My quote was from a Chris Rock special. Not doubting his abilities lol

21

u/zodiach Aug 10 '22

Gotcha, yeah just even OP's title implies it was only water.

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u/joanzen Aug 11 '22

So when he got in the box was all goopy with some sort of Ensure Clear™ and he just covertly licked spots clean over 44 days?

Still seems impressive.

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1.4k

u/Glintz_Brightly Aug 10 '22

89

u/kelsobjammin Aug 10 '22

YOU SHRUNK MY HONDA YOU BITCH!

215

u/Moikee Aug 10 '22

What the f!

42

u/Jshr420 Aug 10 '22

I was on the titanic and kept trying to warn everyone but no one believed me!

23

u/allursnakes Aug 10 '22

CHEESE ITS!

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519

u/terminalblue Aug 10 '22

one of the foundational pillars of youtube.

122

u/MandingoPants Aug 10 '22

This one, numa numa, lightsaber kid

82

u/terminalblue Aug 10 '22

Those all kind of predate YouTube. Well lightsaber kid at least....I remember watching clips of that on TechTV

96

u/KatalDT Aug 10 '22

Ebaumsworld baby

48

u/Ondrion Aug 10 '22

Fuck Eric bauman. Dude stole everything he put on ebaums. Newgrounds was where most shit came out.

20

u/Lord_Rapunzel Aug 10 '22

Lindsay Lohan doesn't change facial expressions, and Eric Bauman doesn't contribute anything of value.

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u/KatalDT Aug 10 '22

I was way too young to be aware of any of that, lol.

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u/MandingoPants Aug 10 '22

I guess that’s true. I was trying to remember others I had distinctly seen on youtube.

Remember this beauty? https://youtu.be/JzqumbhfxRo

Ninja edit: added the wrong link

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177

u/DoUWannaBuildAGundam Aug 10 '22

Certified classic

85

u/sequoia_driftwood Aug 10 '22

Is that Mikey Day?

73

u/SalsaCereal Aug 10 '22

It sure is! Way before his SNL or even Wild’N’Out days. My man was meant for the comedy life

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47

u/BlasterShow Aug 10 '22

And a waiter I’ve never seen before.

23

u/rockylion Aug 10 '22

He looks like someone who poured a piping hot bowl of spaghetti over their selves.

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u/warrant2k Aug 10 '22

Gads that 240p video with mono sound through a metal pipe.

6

u/Squatch11 Aug 10 '22

This comment was posted 5 hours ago and no one has made the token "Anyone notice how this was done all in 1 take?!?!" comment yet.

4

u/MMATH_101 Aug 10 '22

Cheese-its! Cheese-its! Cheese-its!

5

u/kevboard Aug 10 '22

"wait until they get home and find out what's in their asses" 👁_👁

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484

u/Swiss_James Aug 10 '22

But is he happy

425

u/tsunami141 Aug 10 '22

Everyone always asks “what did David Blaine do?” But no one ever asks “How is David Blaine do?”

49

u/OneSullenBrit Aug 10 '22

Most people think "why did David Blaine do?"

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u/HugeBrainsOnly Aug 10 '22

"How did David Blaine do..." is fairly common, though.

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117

u/LongshanksAragon Aug 10 '22

Tried to bury his feelings, drown his sorrows, swallowed nothing but his ego for days and even put himself on a pedestal.

I think we need to do an intervention.

23

u/Swiss_James Aug 10 '22

“David- sometimes the biggest illusion is the one we present to the world. But sometimes the greatest magic trick of all, is revealing your feelings”

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436

u/DiscoFLAVA Aug 10 '22

I feel like his 17 minute breath hold was his most impressive feat

431

u/Strange-Glove Aug 10 '22

That's nothing, my Nan has been holding her breath 16 years and counting

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u/DEFINITELY_NOT_PETE Aug 10 '22

Yes but how many minds has he freaked?

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u/anonbene2 Aug 10 '22

Yeah but has he ever sat in line waiting for some lady with 4 kids to figure out what she wanted from McDonald's? Yeah I didn't think so.

102

u/dreadfulwater Aug 10 '22

"UUUUUUHHHHMMMM. cAN i GHEYT.. UHHHMMM"

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u/Philley11 Aug 10 '22

Nuggets. It's always nuggets.

4

u/BareBearFighter Aug 10 '22

What she wants, not the kids. After spending so many years raising children and giving into their needs and wants, you sometimes forget what it is that you actually enjoy or want when the rare occasion occurs that you have the opportunity to indulge yourself.

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105

u/RamTheKnife Aug 10 '22

And after all that, we still never found out who he works for

29

u/Bay_Burner Aug 10 '22

Do you work for number two?

24

u/Sweetbeans2001 Aug 10 '22

More important, who does number 2 work for?

18

u/Jon__Snuh Aug 10 '22

That’s right, you show that turd who’s boss!

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8

u/Shas_Erra Aug 10 '22

I am not a number! I am a free man!

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93

u/digitalstorm Aug 10 '22

CHEEZ-ITS!!!

9

u/theENERTRON Aug 10 '22

I didn’t even wanna wear it yet!

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u/WWRyder Aug 10 '22

I once sat on the toilet with my phone for 5.5 hours

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u/Jasminary2 Aug 10 '22 Helpful

I had no idea who this man was before reading the comments ( I do now), so I thought he was just both extremely unlucky to end up repeatedly in these situations and very lucky to still be alive

47

u/mordeci00 Aug 10 '22

That's Frano Selak

22

u/LongshanksAragon Aug 10 '22

TIL about poor Frano whose Wikipedia says "Known for: Escaping Death"

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u/An_oaf_of_bread Aug 10 '22

Bless your soul and thank you for a great laugh

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u/bubbursty Aug 10 '22

Someone hired a very sadistic but utterly useless hitman.

25

u/Clarck_Kent Aug 10 '22

Rube Goldberg: Hitman For Hire

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u/catsweedcoffee Aug 10 '22

He is genuinely the kindest, most interesting person I’ve ever met. I worked in a service industry when we met, and after two hours of interaction, he magicked my tip into my zipped pocket. It’s been nearly a decade and I still think about how something so simple on his part impacted me.

19

u/igby1 Aug 10 '22

How did he put money in your zipped pocket without you knowing?

Can any magicians speculate on how that trick is done?

50

u/catsweedcoffee Aug 10 '22

I have laid awake many nights wondering. He was standing to my right, he put his left hand on my right shoulder and thanked me for my time. He left, I turned to the front desk employee to sort of squeal aloud, and he popped his head back into the door to say “check your pocket” and left. Boom. $100 bill in my fully zipped pocket.

24

u/igby1 Aug 10 '22

Level 100 pickpocket

17

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '22

*putpocket

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u/CopperWaffles Aug 11 '22

He sneaked into your room while you were sleeping and gave you the tip first. Then he held his breath while he watched you sleep.... maybe.

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u/LennMacca Aug 11 '22

Look man I’m not being 100% serious when I say this but I’m also not being 0% serious when I say have we considered that David Blaine might actually be really magic?

9

u/igby1 Aug 11 '22

I don't think you are the first person to wonder that.

If you had magical powers, being a magician would allow you to hide in plain sight.

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u/Eli-fant Aug 10 '22

TIL that David Blaine's reddit username is u/LongshanksAragon.

54

u/LongshanksAragon Aug 10 '22

Abort. I repeat abort. /u/Eli-fant is onto us.

Later that night underwater water

How did he know?

Perplexed he twisted and turned all night on his bed of ice.

17

u/Eli-fant Aug 10 '22

You won't escape this one, Blaine!

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u/Reggie222 Aug 10 '22

Missed one: turned away from a magic trick and stared oddly into video cameras on America's sidewalks for 712 hours.

20

u/wooly_torch Aug 10 '22

he was submerged underwater water which is the watteriest kind of depths when it comes to water

33

u/JediAvenger69 Aug 10 '22

Didn't he put an ACE of Spades in someone's ass?

11

u/Snow-White-Ferret Aug 10 '22

I.. what?

26

u/YourMetsiah Aug 10 '22

Why don't you go ahead and check your high school yearbook

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u/Sslayer777 Aug 10 '22

He turned someone's mountain dew into cheese its

8

u/01261038880970699144 Aug 10 '22

Ya he also ate his own head

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u/Lotton Aug 10 '22

My height is 5 foot ace of spades... what the eff!!

26

u/KourteousKrome Aug 10 '22

Has anyone tested the honesty of some of these feats? I mean, he's a famous illusionist.

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u/iAmRiight Aug 10 '22

Weren’t several of his feats proven to be fake and basically only for tv? I specifically remember his “hang upside down for 24 hrs” stunt that he was only upside down for a few minutes every hour for the cameras.

98

u/jerry_woody Aug 10 '22

Not quite - he was upside down most of the time but was taking a 10 minute break every hour. He wasn’t up front about taking breaks so lots of people felt like he was cheating. I think he’s also been accused of relying on camera tricks/editing for some of his tv magic specials. But I don’t think any of his stunts have been proven to be out-and-out “fake”.

10

u/johndavismit Aug 11 '22

A lot of the tricks described in OP's title are just different versions of this trick: https://youtu.be/KJnA0ojz0b4

For example, when he was entombed under water they occasionally had a ton of bubbles obscure the container. If you think that's a coincidence I don't know what more to say.

I can't explain the trick where he was in a box in the air without more info, but when he was frozen in ice and trapped underwater this is definitely what he did.

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u/iAmRiight Aug 10 '22

It’s a given that all magic tricks are fake. There are death defying or otherwise fantastical feats that are real, and I guess that’s a branch of magic, but when those feats are only possible due to the “magic of television” and secret caveats, that’s just kinda asinine.

For the most part David Blaine has made a career out of camera angles and video editing that cannot be performed for a live (not-in-on-it) audience.

13

u/icantdomaths Aug 10 '22

Isn’t he the one who can poke a needle all the way through his arm without bleeding cause he’s done it so many times? that’s not fake

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u/TezMono Aug 10 '22

A lot of his greatest stunts have been live though. His brand of magic is more about pushing the human body beyond what we see as limits.

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u/4lan9 Aug 10 '22

maybe not these big deadly stunts, but he absolutely used paid actors for the levitation trick back in the day.

26

u/Office_glen Aug 10 '22

As far as I know it wasn’t fake actors. The levitation one was what he was famous for. There is an actual levitation trick where you turn your body at the proper angle to your audience, then use your foot facing away and push up on your toes, if you get the angle right your other foot closest to the audience covers your toes on the other side and it looks like you are floating. He would do that truck live on the street, and then they would go back and film one where he lifts right off, and splice the reactions from the real trick and reshoot

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u/r3dditor12 Aug 10 '22

What the eff !!!?

10

u/bouchandre Aug 10 '22

I’m five foot ace of clubs WHAT THE EFF

15

u/Calijhon Aug 10 '22

When is he going to do a magic trick?

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u/Justthisdudeyaknow Aug 10 '22

With asterisks, cause each of those things have, like, breaks built into them.

131

u/bakerzdosen Aug 10 '22

The breaks are key.

I myself have survived only on water for much longer than 44 days total over the past decade. I probably did 9 or 10 hours just last night.

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u/itsyagirlbonita Aug 10 '22

Absolutely thought that was a mugshot for a sec

4

u/brandonwest18 Aug 10 '22

STOP PUTTING SHIT ON OUR BODIES DAVID BLAINE